


Tainted Sun

by uriekukineedsacookie



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: AUish, Haise will get his memories, I dunno how to tag, M/M, Suicide Attempt, feels in second chapter, hide is alive yes, hide isn't fully human, i'm not good at writing fights, something is off about hide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-21
Updated: 2016-03-25
Packaged: 2018-05-28 04:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6314707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uriekukineedsacookie/pseuds/uriekukineedsacookie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hideyoshi is sent to the quinx. But.. He isnt the sunshine he used to be. Haise has small flashes of memories with Hide. Shirazu is slightly scared of him. i suck at summaries</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Enter Hide

**Author's Note:**

> edited this chapter. My friend betaed it for me.

Hide knew what was happening. He knew who was going to open that door once he knocked, but, he wasn't sure if he was ready. How could he face him again? It had been so long.

 

He rubbed at his arm lightly and let out a small sigh, stepping up onto the welcome mat. After hesitating a moment, he raised his hand and knocked on the door.

“I’m not ready… I’m going to fuck up. I know I will. Dammit.” Hide let his head thump against the door for a moment, and then it opened, revealing a man around his age. The top part of his hair was black and the bottom was white.

“Yes?” He raised an eyebrow at the blond. Hide rubbed his now smarting forehead,  
“Um.. I’m Nagachika Hideyoshi. I’ll be on the team from now on? I do have the right house don't I?” Hide gave a nervous smile. He hoped the other thought it was only because it was his first day...

The black and white haired man seemed to be confused for a moment before he blinked, his mouth forming an o shape. “Nagachika-san!” He smiled, “Welcome! We were expecting you. I’m Haise Sasaki.” He held his hand out to Hide, who took it hesitantly,  
“Please… Call me Hide. May I come in?” He ran his hand through his messy blond hair. Haise gave a nod and let him in. 

Hide walked inside, smiling, though he didn’t exactly feel like smiling. He was hoping for one, one little sign that Haise knew who he was, but he guessed that was too much to ask for. 

Hide glanced around and as he walked, “This is a nice home you have here.”  
“Why thank you Na- Hide-san.” Haise rubbed the back of his head as he corrected himself. Hide looked towards him.   
“Haise you don’t have to use -san. Please… Just call me Hide. That’s all.” Hide smiled at him. 

 

Haise’s face was full of confusion again for a split second, but was interrupted by a commotion nearby. Two men practically fell through the door, seeming like they were trying to choke the life out of each other. Hide looked at them in surprise. 

The purple haired man had the blond on the ground, his hands gripping at his neck. The blond however, had his own hands on the others wrists, trying to get him to let go. 

Before Haise could do anything about it, Hide had lifted and separated the two. “Care to explain why you two are acting like animals?” Hide crossed his arms. The blond blinked in confusion and the purple haired crossed his arms and looked away. 

Haise laughed lightly, watching them, “Hide this is Shirazu.” He pointed towards the blond, “And Urie.” He pointed to the other, the purple haired one.  
“This is common for them.” Hide just frowned at Haise's words.

“Well they made quite the first impression…” Hide muttered. Shirazu leaned towards him, his teeth bared.  
“Who's this guy supposed to be anyways?” He looked over at Haise,   
“Sassan is this guy really the new guy?”   
Hide raised an eyebrow at Shirazu's question.  
“I am...Nagachika Hideyoshi. I’d prefer it if you called me Hide though.” He yawned, “And respect your elders. Shirazu-kun.” 

Shirazu looked back at the blond, brows knit as he thought,  
“What’s yer rank?” He questioned some more. Hide chuckled and smirked.  
“Rank 1. I’m here to help Sasaki-san in your training.” Hide looked him in the eyes. 

Shirazu scoffed, “You don’t look strong.” 

Hide raised his eyebrow at the assumption. He couldn't help but to break into a laugh, but after a moment, he grabbed Shirazu’s arm and dragged him out. 

“Hand to hand. Then quinque. Not your implant but your briefcase one.” Hide let him go.

Shirazu blinked a few times as he processed what the new, blond investigator was instructing.

“What are you waiting for Shirazu-kun~? Come at me.” Hide placed a hand on his hip, smirking. Shirazu growled and took a few steps back before dashing towards him.

 

“Yer not even in prop-“ He was cut off by a gasp. A fist was in his gut and he was on his back within a second, 

“W-What the..” Hide looked down at him.  
“That all you have? No wonder they sent me to help..” There was a smirk on Hide’s lips.

Shirazu stood and ran at him again.  
“Don’t make fun of me!” He growled, throwing wild punches. Hide just moved his head and body in fluid motions, swiftly dodging the attacks.

He grabbed Shirazu’s fist and twisted it, sweeping his legs out from under him with a kick. The movement sent the smart mouthed blond down onto the ground with a thud. 

Shirazu, now face down on the unforgiving ground with his hand twisted behind his back, had Hide’s knee against his back, holding him in place.

“You act rashly, your movements are predictable. I know full well if one of those connected to me I would have been sent flying but I could read your movements with ease. Plan your moves before you execute them, make a strategy. Don’t act as rashly as just now.” Hide let him go. Shirazu stood, rubbing his wrist.  
“Yer good…” He muttered. 

Urie stood watching, his eyes on Hide. Haise was beside him, his expression nervous and he let out a small nervous laugh that matched,  
“Hide, you are skilled in hand to hand, and staff use too, correct?” He spoke up some. Hide looked over at Haise and gave a simple nod. 

Just then, Shirazu tried to surprise Hide with a punch, hoping to catch him off guard. Hide simply blocked it without effort and performed a judo style flip on the one attacking.

Once Shirazu’s stomach hit the ground, Hide had his arm twisted once more behind his back and his foot holding him down.

“Nice try.” Hide let him go after another couple moments and walked over to Haise. 

“Where is my room?” He asked calmly, and Haise blinked, surprised by Hide’s quick movements.   
“A-Ah...Upstairs. I left that door open..” Hide nodded and walked off to find it. 

Shirazu looked at Haise, his eyes wide.  
“T-That guy's a beast..”


	2. fix him

Haise stood in where Hide had left them. He was silent before he looked at Shirazu, “Something tells me he isn’t normally like that..” Urie glanced at Haise.  
“Sasaki..(that guy..) he seems like a good instructor..(he’s pretty frightening) and plenty strong.” Urie headed up stairs thinking. Haise nodded slowly. 

“Sassan I really hurt.. That guy was holding back as well.” Shirazu could tell. He wasn’t going all out. He was pulling his punches. Haise rubbed the bridge of his nose.   
“Ah… I heard he reached 1st rank not long after he was let out the hospital.. He was in a coma for a year?” Haise shook his head, “Something about him seems familiar.” Shirazu rubbed his stomach.

“He doesn’t seem normal. I couldn’t land a single hit Sassan. If anything.. he seems inhuman. More than you do.” He mumbled and hurried upstairs after Urie. The half ghoul sighed and headed for the living room, thinking. He sat down, rubbing his forehead.

“Did I know him before..?” He murmured. He looked towards the stairs and shook his head. He leaned back, “I need some rest..” he closed his eyes and got comfy. 

_.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._..

Haise opened his eyes but he wasn’t on the couch but he was at the park? He glanced down at his hand and saw a cup of coffee. When did he get this? He was lost in confusion when something made him startle. A blond sitting beside him suddenly, “Hey Kaneki!” Haise remembered that face. Hide. What was he doing here.. he looked younger. Brighter. Happier. And why did he call him Kaneki? He was suddenly surprised to hear himself speak.

“Hey Hide…” He felt his body shift to face Hide more. Was this a dream? It had to.. a memory…? Does this mean he knew Hide before? Hide smiled at him brightly, so full of love.. His eyes matched his smile. Not like the Hide he had met earlier. His eyes was dark and lonely.. Hurt. 

“So! ‘Neki… How have you been? I’ve missed you. Sorry for appearing without notice.. But I saw you and I had to come by.” He glanced down some, “You stopped answering my texts.. Kaneki.. We’re best friends right?” Hide looked so sad… Haise wanted to hug him. He heard himself speak again.  
“O-Of course! I’ve been busy.. And I lost my phone..” He felt his hand on his chin at that. Hide’s face flashed with sadness, quickly replaced with a false grin. 

“Alright. I missed you a lot. Ever since you told me to stop coming to Anteiku… I hardly see you. I see you in class but that’s it. Before Rize-chan.. We were inseparable..” Hide stood, “I guess I’ll see you around Kaneki. Don’t.. forget about me.” He then walked off, Haise’s vision faded to black.

 

He opened his eyes again to find himself in a room. He caught his appearance in a mirror. He was a kid. Probably 12. His body moved towards a window when he heard a knock on it. He opened the window and a blond kid slipped in. Haise knew immediately. Hide. “I’m here.” That’s when he felt the tears on his face. He was crying in this memory. Hide crawled on the bed he himself had crawled back on and wiped his face. The blond sat beside him before pulling him into a hug, Haise’s face against his chest as a sob racked through his body. Hide held him, petting his hair. “It’s okay ‘Neki… I’m here.. Don’t listen to her… You aren’t worthless.. You aren’t useless.. You are my best friend.. Ken Kaneki… Don’t let her words get to you. It’s not your fault..” He murmured. Haise felt like crying himself. If this was indeed a memory.. How long had he known Hide? His vision once again faded to black.

 

Just like before, his eyes opened to a new setting. He was staring at a desk, his probably, with so much hate written on it. In the middle was die. Big letters. His body shook before bolting out the class and school, heading where Haise guessed was home. He ran inside a small apartment, shutting the door.

It had been maybe 30 minutes to an hour before he stopped questioning his life before he went into his kitchen, reaching for a knife. He lifted his shirt and gripped the cloth in his teeth before closing his eyes that still had tears streaming from it. Haise couldn’t believe it.. was he about to kill himself? Just as the hands holding the knife moved down to stab into his gut his apartment door flew open and the knife that had just barely pierced his abdomen was on the ground and a pair of strong arms were around him, “Kaneki!” … It was Hide.   
“H-Hide..” Haise listened to what was going on. His body shook and Hide took him to the living room, sitting him on the couch before hugging him tightly again, sniffling.

“K-Kaneki.. I came as fast as I could.. I saw your desk.. And heard the guys saying how you ran off… They were laughing… I wanted to beat them.. But I felt like if I did I would have gotten here too late… I was almost too late.. Kaneki… Don’t do this.. Please…” Hide’s voice was shaky. “It’s only our first year… Kaneki…” Haise felt his arms go around Hide. His body shook from sobs. He felt Hide place a comforting kiss on the top of his head.   
“Kaneki.. I’m moving in with you. I won’t take no as an answer… I’m here for you.. I will protect you…” Haise’s vision faded out again.

 

_.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._.._..

 

Haise sat up quickly and his breathing was heavy. The voice in his head.. it was talking.

Hide.. Hide… my Hide.. Save Hide… Hide… Hide…

He stood and practically ran up the stairs, stumbling. He opened Hide’s door, outside was dark so it must be pretty late. Haise saw him, sitting on the floor with a book open and a lamp being his only light. Hide looked up, standing. “Haise..? You look pale. Are yo-“ Hide was cut off by Haise nearly knocking him over with a hug, his arms tight around Hide. Haise’s face was streaked with tears and was murmuring “hide” over and over again, rubbing his face on Hide’s chest. The blond looked confused.   
“Haise..?” Haise finally broke out into a sob.

“H-Hide! I-I’m sorry… I’m sorry!” Haise babbled, sobbing. Hide slowly wrapped his arms around Haise, sitting down on his bed, pulling Haise with him.

“Sorry for what?” He murmured. Haise gripped at his back.  
“I’m sorry for leaving! I-I don’t know you completely.. But.. M-My memories.. I remembered some… M-My name… Y-You lived with me.. You were my best friend…” Hide stared at him.

“You remember now?” he didn’t sound pleased. Haise looked up at his face, sniffling. Hide’s expression made him jerk back, unable to move away due to Hide’s arms around him. Dark. His eyes held Darkness.. hurt… Anger… Hide smirked.

“You remember what you did to me? Abandoning me.. Leaving me… Lying to me… hurting me… A sorry won’t fix years of hurt… Seeing you earlier… Not knowing who I was.. Pissed me off…” He tilted Haise’s head up. “You didn’t trust me enough to not leave you over the fact you were turned into a half ghoul. Your best friend for more than half your life… and you think a sorry with fix the hurt and heart break?” Hide let him go, “Even after you did that.. I saved you. I gave you my flesh so you wouldn’t die.. Then I gave myself to the CCG as a lab rat.. I went through so much for you.. So you would live.. While I can never hate you.. The scars run deep…” Hide frowned at him. Haise felt like crying again.

“H-Hide… Y-You aren’t yourself.. Hide…” He reached for his face, “You loved me.. You loved Kaneki Ken… More than just a best friend.. didn’t you… You loved him with all your heart… He loved you too.. He was scared… he wanted to protect you..” Haise murmured, tears streaming down his face.   
“While I.. myself isn’t Kaneki.. He is here.. He’s hurting… I can hear him crying… repeating your name and I’m sorry over and over again… It hurts him and me to see you in such a state.. What happened to your sunshine..?” Hide’s eyes were wide before he shoved Haise away.

“Shut up! M-My sunshine? It was taken with you! I was forbidden to go near you! Let alone see you for years! They finally let me… I’m stronger. They helped me! I wanted to die!” Hide snarled. Haise stood from where he had fallen. He went back to Hide. 

“This isn’t you. Hide.. Kaneki didn’t want to hurt you!” Haise placed his hands back on Hide’s face, “If I give in to Kaneki I could disappear. I don’t want to disappear. But I know how much he loves you. What do I need to do to heal you!?” Hide was frozen before he glared at him.

“You can’t.” Hide muttered. Haise gasped some at what he saw in Hide’s face now. Hide’s eyes filled with tears. 

“Let me try Hide.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to Hide’s, who’s tear filled eyes widened and his body tensed up. Hide’s hands which were on Haise’s chest gripped at the shirt. Haise held him in the kiss, knowing this is what Kaneki wanted. Hide slowly relaxed and Haise pulled away, Hide’s eyes were half shut and cheeks were flushed pink. The tears stopped and Haise wiped away the stray tears.

“Hide.. let me try and help you… Let me be what Kaneki wanted… Let me try… I’m him. He is me. We are one in the same…” Haise brushed his thumb across Hide’s cheek bone.   
Hide’s hands moved up to Haise’s cheeks, cupping them lightly before he pulled him into another kiss. Haise let out a surprised sound but kissed him back, closing his eyes. Hide pulled away after a moment.  
“Let you try… Give you another chance… I don’t want to be alone…” Hide murmured, his forehead thumping against Haise’s shoulder. Haise moved to hold Hide.

“I won’t leave you alone.. Not anymore… I promise..”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might Write a sequal. This chapter is not betaed


End file.
